BlogsPosted by Karl Sharro Mon, March 23, 2009 23:38:53
Introducing our new weekly column: Sustaina-Babble. Remember every time you had to sit in a a dull long meeting, with some utterly boring 'sustainability consultant' drilling your head with vacuous cliches about 'future-proofing' or whatever completely meaningless phrase his 'industry', which doesn't make anything at all, is currently circulating at the moment, remember every minute you wasted in such meetings, valuable chunks of your time forever lost in that ravenous gutter of 'consultancy-speak', and you will understand the aim of Sustaina-Babble. Remember every single crime those witless accountants of the doomsday have committed against the English language in the steady stream of monotony that they have reduced the valuable gift of speech to, while talking about the '3 R's' or some other useless abbreviation that aims to reduce their reactionary 'philosophy' into digestible morsels of 'eco-wisdom' that give nothing new to the world but steadily guide us through the process of dismantling every civilised achievement that the human race has ever brought into being and replacing it with a more primitive and more inconvenient substitute and one that most likely stinks as well. Remember every time a self-righteous 'moral crusader' was on TV or Radio, in another instance of the BBC using your license fee money to bludgeon you with their incessant eco-pestering, arguing against 4x4s or planes or things with an engine in general, having organised 'local campaigns' or chained themselves to a fence, or some other mockery of what real politics is, remember the smug look on their faces while they argued that you are too stupid to be trusted with important decisions such as your brand of toilet paper or nappies and gave themselves the right to coerce you into making the right decision because Gaia is hurting, while the talking heads at the BBC egged them on and praised their dedication to the cause of taming the great unwashed mass of impertinent proles who insist on taking a week's holiday in Spain after a hard year's work. Remember every over-clad cyclist decorated with the latest range of safety paraphernalia that is not consumerist despite costing most than what an average African family earns in a year because it is part of an ethical lifestyle, shouting at you when you dared to step in his field of vision on the streets of London because he has strapped his self-righteousness firmly to his ever wiggling posteriors in the service of the planet that you in your selfishness have neglected to dedicate every waking second of your life to by choosing a different mode of travel that does not proclaim its eco-credentials as loudly as their fanatic pedalling does. But most importantly, remember how Sustaina-Babble has sucked the very life out of every creative endeavour and replaced it with the demand for unwavering commitment to the cause of linguistic and behavioral correctness and painted the universe in the dullest shades of grey, how it sucked the soul and joy out of the process of design and replaced it with the satisfaction of everyone wallowing in the mire of the lowest common denominator because of its aversion to originality and inventiveness, how it made a virtue of anal-retentiveness and subjugated everything to the tyranny of the carbon currency. Remember and come back.
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